Motivate Me

Yesterday I attended my first of a series of Computraining classes. It didn't start off great. I was supposed to be in Monday nights class 'last week' but due to a bout of bronchitis had to reschedule to give myself some recovery time. I was required to complete a 10 mile time trail in the first week of classes so I opted to go to Sundays class. I got to the class as recommended 15 minutes early...8:15 am...which required a Sunday alarm clock (insert sad face). To my surprise, no one was there. The class had been rescheduled to 9:30 so I sat impatient in my car keeping myself busy with Netflix.

When I entered the class I was surrounded by three others who had done the class previously and the very experienced coach. Little intimidated. I was the only cyclist with plain old gym shoes vs clip in's. I had the wrong spoke on my rear wheel. I had no idea how to hook my bike up. The patient kind gentleman beside me was really helpful placing my bike on the trainer and explaining how to attach it. Then the coach walked me through some important bits of info and as we began my confidence increased as did my excitement to ride again. Now my motivation, well it was there but not in full force until....

...My extremely helpful cycling neighbor began to talk to our coach who was on the other side of me. He was talking loud enough for me to hear but was being quite vague at first saying only that he may need to get up and go as required. That after his surgery it was a 10 minute reoccurrence. I had NO clue what he was referring to.

He then turned to me putting out his hand for a friendly shake introducing himself. Then he proceeded to tell me he has prostate cancer. He had surgery sometime in the past few months to remove it but is now having trouble with bladder control and wanted to apologize in advance if I notice him readjusting on his bike.

Then it hit me...here is a grown man talking to a complete stranger about wearing a diaper and using an extra towel on his seat so he can continue to do something he loves as he his battle against cancer remains his backdrop. He will find out if he has won this battle in February. But for now he's moving forward...staying motivated!

In my time trial I gave my all.
It was exhausting and many curse words came out unsensored over the 'long' 33 minutes.
All four others around me rooting for me to stay focused and push harder.

My mental battle on my bike was not hard as my neighbors cancer battle. My hat goes off to him. Talk about motivating. 100%.

Live life people!!! It's here in front of you today!!

DO WHAT YOU LOVE!!!

~Shan Xx

Rated: PO (Parents Only)

...OK so this is what happens when quiet actually settles in the house and I am home alone.
I find random shit on the internet to laugh about..by myself.
Only lucky for you all... I am sharing... prepare to pee your pants!

The website I was on is http://www.scarymommy.com/ and you HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT!


Talk about funny... hahahahaha... I'm still laughing... I'm gonna be on here all night...and good thing cause by 6:30am I'll be back to parenting...LOL

Enjoy...

Wake the Fuck Up

Of course you have heard of the book, Go the Fuck to Sleep. I would like to suggest a follow up, inspired by my husband…
The dishes are washed, everything tidy in its place
The leftovers boxed up, my dear, and the counters wiped away
I’ve asked you six times, don’t make me say it again
Please, for the love of God
Just empty the fucking trash can.
———————————
You work hard and need your rest
I do know that and care
But you slept all night and napped three times
You’ve more than gotten your share
It’s time to awake and get on with the day
Wake the fuck up already, you hear me OK?
———————————
You’ve been flipping for an hour
But have yet to pick a show
Could you be more annoying?
The answer is no.
Surrender the remote, I’ll ask one last time
or I’m kicking you out, on your fucking behind.
———————————
The day is getting dim
Soon it will be night
I can’t see a thing, my love
You have to know I’m right
I’m not as tall as you so I need your larger height
Would it kill you to change that fucking hall light?
———————————
I know you feel sick but I do as well
My nose is stuffy too
and my throat sore as hell
Please stop complaining
It’s just a little cold
So shut up and cope
You’re not that fucking old
———————————
I love you so much
I value what you say
But now I’m trying to sleep
And you’re keeping me awake
For the last time, my sweet,
I just don’t give a crap.
Enough already, really
Just shut your fucking pie trap.
———————————
I’m laying in bed, desperately needing my rest
You’ve been sleeping for hours
Happily passed out on your chest,
How are you so loud, I really don’t know
But if you don’t fucking stop snoring,
You’re gonna have to go.
———————————
Is this too much to ask,
from the man I adore?
I really don’t get why I’m so easy to ignore.
Start listening to me, that’s all there is to it.
Oh, and the dog needs a walk
Just fucking do it.

(...another excerpt...)

Cards For New Moms

Tagged as: see mom and dad -- I am using that graphic design degree!
I spent a half hour in the Hallmark store the other day looking for the perfect card to send to a new mommy friend. Much to my dismay, I couldn’t exactly what I was looking for.
In case you’ve ever encountered the same problem, I made a few to share…

Might as well let new moms know what they’re in store for, right?

Well, I certainly think so.

(...another excerpt...)

Motherhood is…

I read this confession before falling asleep last night:
“I really, truly, honestly wish someone–ANYONE–would have told me what it was really like having kids. Before I had them.”
Well. it may be too late for that person, but for all you yet- to-be-mothers out there who really want to know what it’s like, I’m going to do my very best to describe motherhood for you.
Here goes.

Motherhood is middle of the night wake up calls for a glass of water or a fan or a light or a blanket or a bear or a kiss or a band-aid.
Motherhood is making lunch after lunch after lunch after lunch only to find the healthy contents stuffed behind a car-seat.
Motherhood is all of your spending money.
Motherhood is not remembering what it’s like to get a full night’s sleep.
Motherhood is siblings bickering over who can look out of which window and who started it and who you love the most even though you love all of them the same but at the moment you don’t like any of them in the least.
Motherhood is wiping more poop than you ever thought you’d see in your life.
Motherhood is a car so filthy that you are embarrassed to let your own husband see it.
Motherhood is hearing the word “why” at least a hundred times a day and most of the time, not having an answer.
Motherhood is knowing, just from the touch of a forehead, almost exactly what your child’s temperature is.
Motherhood is stretch marks dominating your belly and feet a full size larger than before and sad, deflated boobs.
Motherhood is finally appreciating your own mother.
Motherhood is fantasizing over reaching the bottom of the laundry pile, knowing full well that it’s never going to happen.
Motherhood is singing all the words to your kids favorite songs even though they annoy the hell out of you.
Motherhood is never feeling at peace unless all of your children are with you, under your own roof.
Motherhood is always feeling mildly sick but never being able to wallow in your own misery.
Motherhood is never peeing or showering in peace.
Motherhood is using your sleeves to wipe runny noses and your spit to clean dirty faces.
Motherhood is being able to identify just who is coming down the stairs based solely on the thudding of their feet above you.
Motherhood is not even wanting to say “I told you so” even though you did, countless times.
Motherhood is when, just as you want to curl up into a ball of pure exhaustion and desperation, one of your children suddenly farts or burps or does something spontaneously funny. It’s the moment when you dissolve into a hysterical fit of laughter; the kind that you haven’t had since you and your seventh grade BFF were caught passing notes about which boy in your class you’d most want to be stuck in a closet with. It’s the moment you pause and look at your children, all piled on your bed, breathless and rosy cheeked, and think that the only things that really matter in the world are right there in front of you. They are yours, and they are worth every sacrifice and sleepless night.
And then, it’s the moment, two seconds later, when one of them will accidentally kick the other one on the arm and the other will bite in retaliation and you will wish, for the hundredth time that day, that you could just rewind time and savor that peace and joy for more than an instant.
Rinse and repeat a million times. That’s what motherhood is to me.
What is it to you?


...so like I said... check out the website... I think I may have to buy this book just to make sure I have a really big belly laugh at the end of each day.

Much Love, Shanon

Movement in Thought

Life.

Sometimes I find it hard to remain still and settled when lives are shifting around me although I think to myself, without constant change would our lives become stale? Maybe even become a degree of lifeless? I like to believe that while change brings with it the Sunny days and the Rainy ones, without them we would not have the opportunity to Grow. Experience. Learn. Extend Love.

Remember to be kind to those you love and those you don't. 

Today. Tomorrow. Always. 

Much Love, Shanon

For You..Thank You

I find myself at some point (if not many) thinking of you during my day. It's pretty neat how when I came to you it was to shake what I was feeling while following some one else's journey. Their story. I know now that I wasn't meant to shake it... just to be aware. To grow from the experience. To open up.

I had to write of this thought from tonight...

You are sharing your journey with me...with every one around you. It is inspiring ' with strength' and creating growth 'with awareness'. It is creating, for me, an emotional shift. Right now my Dad (who is visiting from Edmonton) is downstairs with Colton and Madison watching, cheering and talking loudly over the hockey game. I told myself to hurry and get the dishes done so I could head downstairs and be a part of the fun. Yet in that same breath I thought of you. Its kind of hard to write the thoughts exactly as they surfaced...they were fast and powerful. I will try to explain.

Usually when things get loud around the house I can get overwhelmed. By the noise. By the activity. By the sometimes chaos...or so it may seem. I wondered if you do the same...only not in a past tense...now...in today's moments. I then thought, if I were you, today, I could envision you absorbing as much of the joy as possible. As much of the love in the loud laughter as possible. That it wouldn't matter...the volume of the voices. You would find all the positive. All the happiness.

These thoughts stopped me in my tracks. I listened. I heard. I felt.

Love.

I was so happy to hear them all being their crazy fun selves down there. I'm going to join in all of that now. I just thought I would share...what you shared with me. Thank you... I am shifted.

Healthy love and healing to you Fawna, xx

With Much Love, Shanon

Present and Joy Filled

Easter weekend came and went...fast! Too fast! Always does when my family comes to visit.

Although it was really nice that my sister Sarah and my lil nephew Chase were able to come for an extra day as a result of the threat of snow getting in the way.

Watching Chase and Jordyn was pretty funny... the 2 of them are 8 days apart... and so completely different. Jordyn likes to just hang out and be a quiet couch potato. Chase likes to ride around on the noisy zebra talking his baby babble at a 'not so inside' voice. Jordyn has taken to trying to hit others. Chase didn't ... until he was around her long enough. Jordyn likes to throw her food. Chase really likes eating his (and hers). Jordyn really loved up Aunty Sarah. Chase didn't love up Aunty Shanon (insert sad face)...

Something in common: BOTH of them have CRAZY hair in the morning... and BOTH of them are stinkin cute!!!

It was nice to have Nanny (Mom) and Mog (Dave) here too. They were able to come early Friday so we got some good quality time in. I love watching my Mom snuggle my kids ... warms my heart.

Of course, the Easter Bunny was nice enough to leave some treats laying around the yard. Madison could hardly contain herself while running like the wind to collect them, Colton by her side. Jordyn managed to gather a few of her own and Chase was happy taking a ride in the wagon.

Catching a still photo of these two was probably the most difficult... they were just too speedy, lol.

Colton decided late Saturday night that he wanted to head back to my sister's to spend his Easter break catching up with her. Its always hard to see my family go.

So the 'school-less' days have been filled with me, the girls and a whole lot of whatever.

We have played outside, watched Barbies Mermaid Tail (a few times), gone grocery shopping, had play dates and coffee dates, workouts and Yoga, visits with Grandma Mary, walks, baking and experimenting with new recipes. I have done some much needed organizing around the house but not so much cleaning.

I made the choice that this week
Just Being Present
was going to be
Enough

To do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.
Having happy, playful, joy filled children brought a solid feeling of love into my moments this week and I valued that MUCH more than I do a clean house. I put me and them first this week... it felt SO good to not worry about much else (of course we really missed sharing it with Colton). Everything was relaxed and easy.
Its been nice just letting the days flow. Just letting everything fall in to place.
No rushing. No craziness. No schedules...

Each moment as it should be. 
Happy. Fun. Rewarding. 


Much Love, Shanon

The Last Week (BACK DATED to Jan/12)

Okay so I just found this post in my list of 'posts' and realized it was drafted and not published. Oops! 

So that being sad on April 1st I'd like to take you back a few months to the week of January 12th, 2012.

Over the past week we have had a few fun events I've been wanting to write about. Unfortunately time isn't always on my side. One of my most wonderful friends, Allison, celebrated her 30th birthday.

I made her and her fiance, Jon, who was also celebrating his birthday, a yummy dinner on Wednesday night. That evening while cooking and getting things together for dinner I completely lost control of my daughters. They were loud and rambunctious creating major craziness in the living room upstairs. Madison continued her silliness well into the evening. A few times she climbed up on Auntie Allie's knees to let out a few 'funny' toots. I do have to admit, it gave us all the giggles.

We followed dinner with a scrumptious cake that we nicknamed the 'Diabetic Sugar Attack'. Jordyn tried a few times to feed it to her daddy with an extra large spoon from the utensil holder. I originally gave it to her while attempting to get dinner ready as a distraction. She kept it with her until we were done at the table.

 

  

 Afterwards Colton and Allie had a quick game of checkers...was definitely amusing to watch.

On Thursday Jamie, Madison, Jordyn and I headed over to OHS to watch Colton's basketball game. It's pretty awesome watching your child play a sport you once loved so much. I still remember my very first free throw. Facing the stage where everyone was sitting. Watching me shoot. Now here I am rooting for my own creation..."Go Buddy...shoot". I love it. Its entertainment at its finest. It gives me rushes of anxiety every time he gets the ball. Every time he shoots. Awesome. Completely awesome!!!

Thursday was also the first day Jordyn was able to sport a ponytail

...and how cute it was!!!

After the game my husband and I took the girls down from the bleachers to the court to play around. Madison wanted so bad to 'shoot hoops'. With Jamie's love of the sport, that makes him smile big. It was so enjoyable to watch the girls run around with basketballs...Madison trying to dribble. Jordyn just simply trying to hold it. We hung out there until Colton joined us for a couple baskets then headed home.

The weekend is passing by really fast. Friday night we joined 14 others at Jubilations for Allie's 'surprise' 30th. Sad to say I missed the surprise part but rumor has it Allison's reaction was nothing short of happy tears.

Jamie and I didn't have to be quick to relieve any babysitter. We got to enjoy the night without kids. While we were driving from one location to the next we sat in the car...quietly holding hands. For a moment the thought of 'awkward silence' ran through my head. I was then corrected by a quick reminder that 'no no no' it's not an awkward silence...its the silence itself that's awkward. No kids!!! Sometimes I can be quick to think that we should be discussing today...tomorrow...next week...right now. But really, in that moment, being quiet was exactly what we needed. It was a change and it was really really nice.

Saturday came quick and upon arriving home from Calgary I received a phone call that Colton was heading up to emerg. He had a fall at hockey and ended up with a mild concussion. After I picked him up we headed home to take it easy. He's pretty bummed that he won't be able to participate in any sports for at least a week but better to be safe than sorry. It'll go fast bud...don't worry!

I also learned some sad news yesterday from a blog I've been following for just a short time. A beautiful soul received his wings early. When I first came upon the "EB'ing A Mommy" blog (http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/p/tripps-story.html) I was very intimidated by Tripp's pictures. Initially I closed the site and then a few days later decided for some reason unknown that I would start from the beginning. There I discovered a wealth of information on a disease I had never heard of. 

Epidermolysis Bullosa."... a rare genetic skin disease called "EB". Any type of friction on the skin or mucous membranes causes blisters" 

As a mother I cannot even imagine the strength, courage and love it would take to try and keep your child happy and comfortable at all times. Courtney is a complete inspiration to me. Her dedication to her son is absolutely breath taking. Tripp's story is powerful. It makes me very thankful that I was blessed with 3 very healthy children. It makes me thankful that I have been given an opportunity to be a Mom. It makes me appreciate what I have. It makes me want to be the best mother I can be to my children even in the hard moments or the moments I don't have patience. Tripp's story has really touched my heart and I am happy for him that he has peace now. That he is no longer physically hurting and will be free from pain. Able to walk, run, play and laugh. As for Courtney, his mother, I know this will bring some sadness. I can only hope that Courtney and all their family will be given the same peace. My heart aches for them.

Rest at ease Tripp 

Deep Seeded (and Fugly)

Okay...it has been almost 20 days since I last blogged because I haven't really had a whole lot of extra time but sometimes I find it tough to really sit down to write about a certain subject.
Today, however, I am almost bursting at the seems....here I go...

I am competitive. As far back as Grade 6 I can remember being competitive but junior high really kicked it off with an obvious increase in peers. I played basketball, soccer, volleyball, track and field. I thoroughly enjoyed every sport I played. I gave 110% in each one of them. It was so much fun. The adrenaline rushes were awesome. The encouragement and support motivated me. I was proud of myself. My self esteem grew. I was in great physical health. I was young. I could do it.

Now I am a parent to a growing boy who is also playing sports. Succeeding. Achieving. Competing. Giving 110%
We just finished up the 2011/2012 Pond Hockey season with the Diamond Valley Phantoms in Canmore last weekend. Colton's hockey skills improved leaps and bounds this year. He got quicker, sharper and more aggressive. He became proud of himself. He gave every game his all. I am sooooo very proud of him.

...and so the saying goes...

 "When one door closes another door opens"

...enter Baseball...

Last year Colton tried out for the Okotoks Outlaws (Mosquito) Travel team. Unfortunately he didn't make the cut to play full time but he was asked to be an 'affiliate' player. So this year when I asked him if he was wanting to try out again his response was No. He expressed to me that if he made the team he wouldn't be able to spend time with his Dad on the weekends. I have to admit "I" was crushed. I told him that just because he would have some weekends that he may be playing Baseball didn't mean that he wouldn't be spending time with his Dad. That in fact, he would be supported by his Dad and myself and that it would just be a different way of spending time together. It wouldn't take time away. He still said No. I felt sad. I felt upset. I was feeling disappointment that Colton thought it would take away from his time with his Dad. I wanted to push. I wanted to call Chris and tell him to tell Colton it would be okay. But what would that do? It would be pushing Colton somewhere "I" wanted him to be. That in itself would be selfish. I thought I had accepted his decision.

Little did I know...

Today Colton had Pee Wee evaluations in Okotoks for the upcoming 2012 Recreational Baseball season. On the way to Okotoks while Colton and I had a quiet minute in the front seat I asked him again if he was sure that he didn't want to go to Rep try outs. His answer..."I'm sure Mom. Maybe I'll try next year." Again, crushed! When we got to the evaluations it was nice to see some familiar faces. It was great to see Colton with his peers chucking a ball around. He just seemed so relaxed and in his element, especially for someone who said they had butterflies as we were arriving. I would have never known. Bring on the proud mama feeling! An hour passed so quickly. Once we were back in the car I asked him how he felt. He said it felt good to play. That he thought he did really well and was proud of his own pitching. Made me smile. So the selfish part of me spoke up again... "Are you sure you don't want to try out for the Outlaws bud?"... again, "nah, I'm okay Mom".

OKAY SHANON...THIS IS YOUR QUE TO LET IT GO (shut the f*ck up) AND LET HIS DECISION BE HIS DECISION!!!

I did not expect it to have the impact it did.

Enter the DEEP competitive SEED. My anxiety reared its FUGLY face ... the knots in my belly came quicker then I could swallow. My thoughts spinning fast. The 'what if's' and 'why not's'...some small hints of blame at Chris (even though the decision is not his choosing)... the damn stomach butterflies.... goooo away. I felt sick. I probably would have thrown up in the car had I not been driving. Who says you need to be talking on a cell phone to be distracted. PULL IT TOGETHER SHANON. ITS JUST BASEBALL... AND COLTON IS COMPLETELY OKAY WITH HIS DECISION.

That is what matters!!!

Slowly my anxiety is dissipating because to be honest...its still hanging on. In my own competitive mind I wish he would try out (as if you can't tell). But Colton is entitled to his own decisions and I am entitled to choose how I will feel about it. God I must sound crazy to anyone reading this cause I sound crazy to myself. With all this said though, I will support his decision. I will not ask anymore. I will not push because no good will come from pushing. I will attend his rec games and cheer loudly like I do at every sport. I will encourage him. I will acknowledge his efforts. I will be there for him as he needs me. I will be there 110%

After all...look at my wonderful son... how could I not?

Good job today Colton...

I love you!