A Cup of Tea

Tea Time

QUIET 

Tea Time

Today time is passing so slowly.

Haven't got much done today. Managed to drink my way through a pot of coffee...dumping half cups a couple times because the coffee just didn't make it into my empty belly quick enough. Funny that it seems to occur regularly its nothing out the ordinary. I did get a couple loads of laundry washed and dried (not folded). My Acadia received an interior cleaning with a quick vacuum and a little windexing. I also brought in a few things from the fifth wheel that never made it in during the fall clean out. 

Then I sat down. Both the girls were napping in sync and Colton was busy playing on facebook (just until I kicked him off the computer to briefly write about my day)... sorry dude!

It was a little odd sitting on the couch in the living room. It was nice being able to sit in the sunshine. Nothing moving around me besides my own body taking breaths or the slight movement it required for me to drink my tea. I could hear the wind roaring outside. I could see the trees swaying through the patio doors. Hear the fridge making the weirdest noise (I secretly hope that one day it stops making noise so I can get a new one). So simple. So quiet. So ... unusual. Its at times like these that my thoughts go in so many directions. I think of happy things, past memories, future possibilities, family, friends... when the girls are going to wake up? If I will get through my cup of tea? 

I successfully drank the whole cup.

Now Maddy's awake...

...until next time!

What Am I To You

Making dinner is not often an easy task but when you succumb to your children's need to snuggle on the kitchen floor it takes making dinner to a whole' nother level. As dinner was cooking I had Norah Jones playing softly in the background. During this time I snuggled Maddy on the floor while Jordyn made not so gentle attempts at brushing my hair with, might I add, a very hard plastic brush. Then the girls switched off...Jordyn to my lap and Maddy brushing my hair. Madison has high hopes that I will grow my hair like Rapunzel's. It's gonna take me a while especially at the rate my hair grows. SLOW!!! As Jordyn pulled away from a quick half hug she stared right into my eyes. At that exact moment Norah Jones sang "what am I to you".

Do you ever wonder what you are to your children?

Leaves my thoughts tangled...kinda like my hair at that point. Although Maddy did say my hair smelt pretty so at least I have that going for me.

The Fire Pit

A "fire pit"...
...usually starts off as an empty hole in the middle of some sort of metal, stones or bricks.

To begin preparing for your fire you will need to add a few twigs, then some larger pieces of wood.

You will require a flame. Typically this will come from a match or a lighter. Even from a torch perhaps?

Sometimes you even have to crumple up a bit of newspaper or anything that will catch fire just to get it started.
IF you want it to start that is!

An 'emotional fire pit' however is much different. It can be started with 2 people and only 1 topic. Much more basic than newspaper, twigs and larger pieces of wood.

However...you do not need fire to light it. All you require is anger, hurt and most often, loud words. Those words can be heard verbally or read in the simplicity of a single email or text. AND depending on the way it is stated can distinguish the severity of that particular fire.

Today there I was. Caught in an emotional fire pit. Strangest part is, I was sitting directly in the suns path on the other side of a window. I was already warm. I didn't need the light from the fire to see. But yet...there I was, dealing with it. If I could have written about it as it was happening I'm sure this blog would contain a very large variety of words. BUT I have had time to reflect. I have had time to evaluate. Time to really ask myself if its worth it to carry a hot coal around with me all day long.


I REFUSE to do that...

Instead I have taken action. Just as I have before. To change what I can from my end as I can control nothing but my own doing.

Its hard when you want to be in control. Its frustrating. It can make people (even myself) cold to others. It hurts. It wears on your being. On our ability to stay calm. To focus. It can create opinions. Resentment. BUT of all things 'being at a loss of control' can bring change. Maybe not in others but most definitely in ourselves. It can help us get creative in thinking of new ways of putting the fire(s) out. Possibly stop them from reoccurring.

Today that was my lesson.

Single Thought Invasion

4:48am...a quick glance at the clock. I roll over...
One thought comes to mind.

Jordyn, GO BACK TO SLEEP.

But honestly after a 7:00pm bedtime last night I know my chances are slim. Maybe I shouldn't complain? So before she roars the rest of the house awake I swing myself out of bed and go across the hall to her room. I scoop her up from her crib and out to the living room we go.

We completely skipped a 'proper' breakfast this morning. I mean honestly, fully functioning at 5:00am is just not happening for me today. So we settle for a simple banana while watching Max & Ruby on treehouse all wrapped up warm in a blanket. Jordyn has no complaints...I'm still thinking, GO BACK TO SLEEP.

When she went to bed last night I put a pair of mismatch socks on her feet. They are fuzzy and warm. She hasn't made an attempt to rip them off yet so they must be keeping her toes toasty.

After eating only half her banana she guzzled down most of her bottle...5 out of 7 ounces. She's really content this morning. Only sneaking off the couch to play for a minute and then heading back over to me for a snuggle. Does this mean your going to GO BACK TO SLEEP I wonder!?

Nope. Not yet.

Instead she waddles around, cute as a button with her Blankie draped around her shoulders. She LOVES blankies. It's really quite adorable watching her waddle around with a blankie over her head. You would think she can't see but she watches her feet and the floor beneath them. It amazes me that she's growing up so quickly. Walking. Trying to run...or just trying not to fall. Blowing kisses. Playing patty cake. Giving bear hugs. Waving hello and goodbye. Drinking from a sippy cup. Eating with a fork or spoon. Climbing up stairs (not so good at going down them). The list goes on...she's becoming a semi-independent toddler. I feel like I just had her. She's still so small.

I was planning on heading to the gym by 7:00 this morning but if Jordyn would GO BACK TO SLEEP I could get there earlier. It's nice having Jamie home in the mornings. I can get a workout in early and still have the rest of the day to be productive. Got to take advantage because he'll be back to work soon I'm sure.

Well...I suppose I'll have some breakfast now too. It's been an hour and she's still holding strong. Although I have noticed the odd wobble, what I would compare to a 'drunken sway'. She's getting tired...which could only mean one thing!

Sole Searching

December 28th, 2011...
...I was so excited to 'beat' ground with Cait outdoors. We haven't had the chance to run outside since the end of September. It was a bit surprising to us I must admit. The cold air makes your breaths sharper, tiring your chest that much faster. Not to mentiom running against the wind hurt our ears, our lungs...sh*t, our ENTIRE body!!! We had started a routine of running at least 4 sometimes 5 days together back in August. It was a great rush of nature and usually brought lots of sunshine!

I remember it being a huge challenge for me physically trying to keep up to her when we first started. Sometimes I even made reference to her being like Jillian Micheals. But the persistence of self accomplishment allowed me to get into the groove and push farther every time we ran. Definitely feeling like I can keep up now (insert winky face).

Today it felt so good to drag myself out of the house and over to the gym before the sun woke up. The run almost always starts easy, especially when I haven't been for a few days or even a week. It's like my body is fully rested and excited to get started. Then about 6 or 7 minutes in I start the 'self talk'. Telling myself only 13 or 14 more minutes and I can walk for a bit. Rest up. Makes me like a 1/4 of the way there. Ugh!!! That's it!!! Then I look at the mile clocker...which reveals a much different story. Still a lot longer than that dear Shanon. I continue to tell myself it 'pays' to keep going...it's rewarding...it's keeping me healthy...active...happy...self aware! But my body retaliates saying...I'm tired...I'm breathing heavier...I'm getting weak! Trying not to cave in to my negative thoughts is hard. Sometimes I continue with my self talk, sometimes I turn the volume up on the iPod and JUST LET GO. Hoping the burning will dissipate and the breaths will get lighter. And to my surprise every time, it does.


As long as I reach my personal goal today I know I will feel GOOD! GREAT! SUCCESSFUL!

I'm by no means a marathon runner...would definitely love to do some 5 or 10k runs this year as a challenge to myself...test my timing...my endurance. That would be fun!

I can't wait to run outside in the warm weather again...feeling the morning sunshine because the afternoon sun usually makes you sweat like a pig. Cait and I tried that once... Bad idea!

Oh and today an uninvited blister added itself to my heel. First one of 2012. Reminder that I have to start somewhere (as I did back in August)...and today it was on the treadmill.

Sweet Endings & New Beginnings

Good Bye 2011

I must say you were pretty good to me this year.

It was a busy year...

FILLED WITH FAMILY
 (near and far)

September 2011...our Family (Dogs included)

April Family Picture... once again Dogs included

September Long Weekend trip to Calaway Park with my sister-in-law Jenna and her husband Lanny...FUN FUN FUN

A winter day of fun with Colton, April and Maddy

Mog and Baby J

Grandma Love

Jordyn playing with cousins Shelby and Kayla

Football @ McMahon Stadium with Grandad...one of my many favorite pics from 2011

Snuggles with Nanny, xo

Colton with Uncle Luke and Chase'r

Aunty Sarah July 2011

Happy Birthday Grandpa

Happy Birthday Grandad (...best icing ever I must add)

My beautiful Mother

Happy 9th Birthday Haley... I love this photo!

Cousins (Jordyn and Chase)

Aunty Samantha and Baby J... Spring 2011

Hot Tub Fun at Nan's

My Nephew Chase April 2011

Jamie and I...

FUN AND LAUGHTER
(hard to choose all the good ones) 

The Gang

Birthday cupcake = Sugar rush

...do any kids really sit still to eat at the table...

Brotherly love... plug your nose Maddy!

Gotta love the Dollar Store
.

Frogs galore while camping at Jack Fish in July

  SLIDES                                                   SWINGS

Perfect landing!

Our friendly bunny...

Mommy and Baby J

Madison gifted Colton with a toy that now 'frustrates' her...she thought he would like it.

My photogenic Cutie Patootie Nephew (Christmas 2011)

Maddy and Mickey

Bubble Gum ice cream...sooo good!

Oh Timber...anything to avoid walking...

Friends are Fun!!! Especially Miss Mia and Miss Lili!!!

...a 4 year old giving a pedicure to her Nanny is really interesting to watch...

Insert Silly Colton

Where are those silly fish???

Bouncy tunnel fun...

What gardening in an Alberta spring looks like!

L.O.V.E

Loungin

During our family photo shoot in September 2011

Peek-A-Boo

FRIENDS and VACATIONS

(here I wish I could find more pictures...2012 will definitely reflect more)
 

Victorious Secrets Group Picture

Holly and Allie

Our Competition - The Yummy Mummy's

Victorious Secrets - May Long Amazing Race 2011

Jenn's Stagette... SUPER FUN!

My Beautiful Friend Jenn...congrats again to you and your hubby Justin! Love you both!

Halloween fun with Mars (Fun Party hosted by Cara...thanks again)

Heading to the Airport...Jenny, myself and Cara

Getting Ready for our last night out in Vegas

Vegas over looking the strip

Spectacular View

THE LAST DAYS OF 2011

I wish I could share all my pictures and all my stories...

I have so many showing what a GREAT YEAR 2011 was!

 Especially the last week (through the much anticipated Christmas holidays) was my most favorite. I got to see all my family up north and share some really special days with my family here at home.

On the 30th of December the only plans we had were to head over to Karen's so the kiddo's could open up some gifts and us adults could share some conversation over coffee. But before heading out the door my friend Cindy sent me a text to see if we would like to join them and some other friends at the Okotoks swimming pool for the family swim. 

SO VERY GLAD WE JOINED IN THE FUN 

(although I did miss my now GROWN UP 'little' man who was joining his Dad in celebrating the New Year)

We swam and splashed away at the pool. Madison joined her friends in the deep end sliding down the slide and jumping off the edge of the pool into the water. Jordyn was especially excited, floating mostly on her back with the assistance of her life jacket. She hasn't quite grasped the concept that she can't swim if she leans forward into the water. 

After swimming we all went for lunch at the Sweetgrass Deli in Okotoks. For those of you who are near and haven't been...GO. It's delicious!!!

We ended up sharing supper at home with the Coutts clan. Simple SPAGETTI accompanied by WINE. Mmmmmm...

After kids were tucked in Cindy and I jumped into the hot tub sharing hours of endless conversation, wine and cigarrello's...

I cannot express enough how THANKFUL I am for you as a GOOD FRIEND. 

You never fail to be supportive and understanding...Thank you for talking, listening and impacting my life.

Past, Present and Future.

On the very last day of the year, my husband and I loaded up the kids and packed them over to Grandma and Grandpa's so we could have a day of fun on the big kid toys. 

We took our quads and headed to Indian Graves where we spent 2 hours in the back country wheeling through snow and over ice. The gusty winds were chilly...my cheeks, nose, chin and the tops of my legs could feel the cold. So glad Jamie cut up one of his toques so I could at least cover up my face. We shared ham and cheese sandwiches and a couple of pepsi's. Simple and relaxing... Could I have asked for any more? Nope! It was a perfect afternoon.

This was our first New Years Eve that we didn't spend with Friends! We spent it as a FAMILY!!! We bundled up and took the girls for a sleigh ride in Turner Valley followed by a quick show of Fireworks.

Jamie couldn't resist the funny face!

Mom and the Girls

The night ended with me falling asleep snuggled up to Jamie at 10:30pm while he finished watching a movie we had planned to watch together...oops! 

I did however wake up to a wonderful phone call at 12:06 am January 1st, 2012 by my very first Happy New Year's wisher...my son Colton! Thank you buddy...I love you! Your happy voice started my New Year...what a gift to receive!

AND THIS IS WHAT THE MORNING SUNRISE FOR 2012 REVEALED...

...the view from our Deck...

HOW PERFECT!!!

My Post from Facebook December 31st, 2011

2011 brought fun vacations, close friendships, good health, self awareness and growth...and tons of LOVE & LAUGHTER!!! To all my family and friends...end 2011 with all wishes and thoughts you want to bring into the New Year... Have a good one!!! ♥ much love from all of us!!!!

...No resolutions this year...just 10 Fundamentals I think I'll incorporate into my LIFE...