A Must Have

Oh Sunday...you came so fast!

How is it that the weekend is almost over?

This morning my coffee is A MUST HAVE. My sleep since Wednesday has been nothing but short. Its starting to get a little annoying to be truthful. I wake up because I'm too warm, my arms asleep or I have to pee. I've never wake up to pee...not even during my 3 pregnancies. So why now?

My baby...correction 'toddler' (insert sad/happy face)...sleeps ALL night. Its time for my body to catch up yet it refuses. Makes me want to whine and cry...which is what I'm doing right now minus the crying. Hmmmm...

Anyways coffee is good!!!

So are the snuggles I'm getting from my 4 year old princess on the couch this morning...
Thank you Maddy, xo

Finding Balance

I don't think I can ever recall anyone making a statement that 'raising a preteen is easy'.

Looking back on my time as a preteen I'd have to agree with my Mom...I wasn't an emotionally stable, neat or organized individual...at 12...nope, not at all. I can recall countless arguments about not keeping my room clean and helping (should read 'lack of helping') with chores around the house. As a preteen I never thought I would be on the parenting end one day.

HERE I AM

Now Colton, as we know, has just celebrated his 12th birthday. He has officially entered his preteen years. Sometimes I feel as though my children grow up in the span of an afternoon. It just seems to happen that fast. Blinking (as a parent) is not allowed.

Finding balance is our new challenge...at least the one that exists in our home as of right now. The challenge of being a parent and not always a friend. Accepting that some days they just don't like you. Or your decisions. Or the consequence. Its the challenge of living with my own decision to follow through on rules. The anxiety I experience thinking of sitting down to chat about decisions and having conversations that are just sometimes not going to go in his favor. And then sticking to it as parents. Communicating constantly. The challenge...to say the least...is tough.

Raising children is like the obstacle course that is ever changing...sometimes its smooth sailing and sometimes the rock wall ahead brings challenge. Gotta take the good with the bad...and always, always, always reinforce the love you have for them. Sometimes we as parents may seem unreasonable in our children's eyes.


I just hope that mine always know the love we have for them is unmeasurable.

No matter the challenge.

This To Shall Pass...???

As most of you know since August I took up my passion with running. Unfortunately for my wonderful legs...they have decided they need a break. In January I went to see my doctor because my shins were hurting. Not just hurting...throbbing, aching...creating a numbness in my feet (while running). It hurt to place a sheet on them...that kind of hurting. I knew when I went in to see my doc that 'stress fractures' were most likely the cause. I have had them before...and the pain I had been experiencing was nothing short of what I remember 6 years ago.

She sent in a request for a bone scan which is where I later was told I also needed x-rays. At that point, I knew my shins were in trouble. I was in trouble. The thought that I couldn't run for a while was really disheartening. As much as it can be a struggle its also a release for me. Its a physical activity I do really enjoy, sweat and all. Its where I find myself letting go of stress and pushing myself to succeed. Its where I find accomplishment. I miss it right now. A lot!!!!

Tuesday I did the new bootcamp class at the gym. I was limited and it frustrated the sh*t out of me. I couldn't run up the stairs. I couldn't bounce myself up and down off the bosu ball. I felt really weak because of that. Because of my shins. Because maybe I haven't taken in enough calcium. Because maybe I should have slowed down on increasing my distance while running. Because maybe I need new shoes (well I know I need new shoes...but I didn't think they were worn out). Because maybe I pushed myself a little too hard. Ugh!!! I just need to vent...its been bugging me all week.

So it is said, "this to shall pass".

Then I hopped on the scale this morning...it is also rebelling against me (damn thing). Might be because I ate the sugar monsters I encountered ALL DAY LONG yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. How dare they tempt me? They know I cave every time!

Everyone says take time and heal but its hard when you really really really want to do something. My doctor said 2 weeks ago I wasn't to not run for at least 2 more weeks.

This Monday that gives me the a-okay to try again...SLOWLY!

12 Year Old Teacher - 17 Year Old Student

 

And so it began...

(February 7th, 2000 4:24am in High River, Alberta)

...an introduction to the ongoing lessons of Parenting 101

Today we celebrated the 12th Birthday of my son Colton. 

It started early, 6:30 am to be exact. 

I have created a tradition of placing birthday gifts on the kitchen table the night before. It always seems to create some extra excitement to an already exciting day. It also works as an early alarm clock with no snooze button. Before bed I let the kids know they have to wait until I'm up to open their gifts...I can't miss out on the fun. Plus I'm a little camera happy. 

 

Colton scored some pretty sweet items this year. Cash/gift cards (always a best seller), clothes, basketball shoes, duct tape (for his wallet creations..and now his slipper making talent) and a really cool national geographic telescope that he was excited to try out tonight. He put it together without delay immediately after opening (Thank You Nan & Mog). The bonus, tonight the moon is full.

I spent some time in the later part of my morning going through Colton's baby book and pictures with Madison while Jordyn napped. His pictures are so adorable. His cheeks, his eyes, his chubby yet solid body. Handsome is what I saw...Love is what I felt.

I was a young Mom...17 to be exact. As unprepared as any new parent for the emotional whirlwind I had entered yet I was in love with the new little man we had created. First time parents don't get a manual on how to raise their child so lucky for us we had support coming in at all angles. Advice also came from all angles...mostly from Colton's protective Grandma Karen.
I say that with the utmost love!
We lived with her when he was born so it was easy for her to extend her reach when we needed it.
Thank you for that Grandma.

Over the past 12 years Colton has been through a lot...his dad and I married and divorced. His dad is now remarried and has given Colton 3 brothers to keep up with and love. I also remarried and Colton now has 2 sisters to protect and love. He is such a gentle soul...he loves ALL his siblings dearly. He shows that daily with all the simple things he does with/for them, including but not limited to dressing up and having his hair done.
I know I don't speak just for myself when I say how 

VERY PROUD I AM OF HIM

...how proud I am to be his Mom...to get to share and enjoy life with him. Through laughs and silliness...sports and homework...tears and accomplishments. The list goes on...

Thank you Colton for teaching me

unconditional love

& patience

Thank you for being resilient when I have not shown patience

Thank you for showing me what

pure joy & happiness

really look like

Thank you Colton for letting me

giggle with you through fun times 

& 

hug away your tears in tough times

Thank you Colton, for you I feel

grateful & blessed

Thank you for being

THE BEST BROTHER EVER

Thank you Colton for being my teacher

for without you I would not have the knowledge I do today

nor would I have this opportunity to continue learning

Thank you Colton for being who you are all the time...

...we love you more than you know.

Happy 12th Birthday

COLTON



 

Love today, tomorrow & always,

Mom

Small Town - Love vs Unlove

Last Thursday I hopped on the C-train at Anderson and rode it down to the 4th street stop downtown. It wasn't until Thursday that I felt I had become 'uncitified'. I guess for me living in a small town has somewhat sheltered me. I don't see homeless people daily, let alone anyone asking for money outside the grocery store. I don't see babies and/or small children under dressed for the cold weather. Or mothers who look uncomfortably cold while pushing a stroller because she too is under dressed. The realistic picture painted before me on Thursday made me feel nauseated. Sad. Uncomfortable and guilty. I was warm. I was dressed appropriately for the cold. I was sipping a Starbucks coffee while checking messages on my iPhone. I was a silent observer in the crowd. Sadly enough, I was looking forward to coming back to our small town. Back to my shelter and away from that reality. The baby and mother that I saw waiting by the train downtown haunts me. I can't seem to let it go and it really does make me sad. Not sure what I'll do about it yet...feeling guilty that I maybe should have done something then.

On another note I need to vent a bit.

Living in a small town has made me really appreciate the friends I have and the support I can fall on when/if in need. Even though living in a small town has come with its definite advantages and perks it does come with a range of negativity. Over the past week my ears have been witness to a few 'semi-discreet' opinions and statements that make me really frustrated inside. First off because it involves those I value, respect and trust. Second, it is really no ones business to discuss especially when they don't know the other person involved AT ALL (other than the version of which they've been given). It really makes me take a glance around and question:
Who I can trust? I mean really really trust!!!
Who I can call a 'true' friend?
Who do I respect? Who respects me?
Because all that can change in a conversation or a simple statement made in less than 30 seconds. Now I know I'm not perfect. I can't say I have never ever been a part of gossip but within the last year or so I feel like I have developed an awareness that maybe I didn't have before. An awareness I may have ignored that has now become so bright I can't not notice. And the last week has showed me that opinions are out there...they are circulating...they are constant. When you hear them you have to make a split second choice to either go with it...or STAND UP for what you know is right for you. I made my choice...maybe not aloud but I made a choice. I see myself as a GOOD FRIEND and as a result I have GOOD FRIENDS. I know who they are...and they know who I am. That is what matters...
In a small town you need good friends because lets be honest, the sh*t that flies around...
...in rumors...
...in opinions...

Is exactly that (sh*t)!

That's all I got.